Reunited by H.L. Logan

Author:H.L. Logan [Logan, H.L.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: UNKNOWN
Published: 2017-02-15T00:00:00+00:00

12.

El

I doubled over the trash can, still heaving. I couldn’t remember feeling so horrible in my life. My head throbbed. Pedestrians looked at me with disgusted alarm as I slumped to the ground clutching my stomach. Was this what a broken heart felt like? When my gut rolled with another round of nausea, I felt certain it was something closer to the flu. But that didn’t explain the unbearable ache in my chest.

I’d wanted Taylor so bad. So fucking bad.

And I’d fucked it up.

Like I always did.

A sharp stab shot through my temples. There was nothing else I could’ve said, even if I’d stayed.

She was right. She was so much better off without me. In all the years I’d admired her, what had I ever done to be worthy of Taylor? Worthy of anyone?

Taylor deserved someone strong like her. I was just a coward, hiding inside myself my whole life. I bitterly hoped she’d one day find someone she deserved.

I stood, still feeling sick, fighting back tears, and consoled myself with the realization that it was better that this stupid relationship had only lasted four fucking days. I could’ve ended up wasting a lot more of our time.

I stumbled into a convenience store and bought everything that looked like it might be for nausea. I was in too foul a mood to just ask the clerk to translate the labels for me, and I needed something to make me seem alive enough to get on my flight that would be leaving in five hours.

Outside the store, I downed a couple pills and got into a cab that drove me back to my hostel. The rest of the afternoon melted away as numbness took over me and I zombified myself with cold and flu medicine that seemed to keep my nausea down enough for the flight attendants to let me on the plane. And then I had eight full hours to contemplate how badly I’d fucked up.

I never should’ve let things go so far with Taylor, and I’d known that all along. I should’ve taken my time, gotten comfortable with my sexuality, given myself a chance to come out to my family. Now the stress of it all had crushed what could’ve been something amazing if I’d just been patient. Or brave.

The plane hit some turbulence, making my upset stomach feel even worse. I had to squeeze past the woman sitting next to me and rush to the tiny bathroom to sit on the floor, head hunched between my knees for almost thirty minutes. I felt pathetic. I felt small. I definitely didn’t feel like someone who deserved to be with Taylor.

But then I remembered the way her eyes had made me feel like I was the most important person in the world. It was crazy, but she’d made me believe that I deserved her. She'd made me believe all kinds of things.

The rolling in my gut finally settled enough for me to return to my seat. I was still shaky and sweaty, but something took over me.

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